Clingy woman books flight to Barcelona to crash friend's honeymoon, is offended when she prevents her from joining: 'She's manipulating you'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 15, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

We all love to spend time with our friends, that's why they're our friends! And they call it a "friend crush" for a reason. If you become platonically attached to someone, you might feel compelled to hang out with them all the time. It's a wonderful feeling, but you also have to remember to set your boundaries. And this is usually pretty easy. You fall into a rhythm of friendship, and you see each other when you want to and leave when you don't. Some friendships require more than others, and everyone goes through rough patches, but a friend is not a barnacle. You don't ever want to feel like the monkey on their back. Or worse, the single white female.

One woman was having a hard time with that concept… to the extreme. She crossed a friend boundary that no friend should ever cross. Read on for the story and see what you would have done.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10416331264
    via Joshua Sazon
  • 02
    AITA for telling my friend I don't want to take the same flights as her for my honeymoon?
    via u/ExplanationMajor8303
  • 03
    I'm (F, 30) getting married very soon and planning to go to Barcelona for my honeymoon, which I thought I had told my best friend (F,30). A few days ago my friend told me that she is planning a trip to Barcelona the day after my wedding, which I was initially taken aback by since I thought she had planned this knowing that I was going.
    via u/ExplanationMajor8303
  • 04
    My friend has joked before about tagging along to my honeymoon and feel can be clingy at times which has been noted and commented on by other friends. She made it clear that she didn't know about my plans but that she will go ahead with her plans.
    via u/ExplanationMajor8303
  • 05
    I would prefer if this wasn't the case. but I can't stop her from going to a part of the world. From previous encounters, I anticipate that she will want to spend some time with us while we are there and can foresee her feeling offended if we don't. I suggested to my friend that if we are all going at the same time that my husband and I book different flights, and expressed that I would not feel comfortable being on the exact same flights.
    via u/ExplanationMajor8303
  • 06
    After our conversation I get a phone call from my other friend asking me what I've done to make my best friend upset. She was upset by the comment that I made about feeling uncomfortable with taking the same flights and can't understand what about that makes me uncomfortable. She says that I have made her feel as though she's done something wrong. hence why I'm avoiding being in the same airplane as her.
    via u/ExplanationMajor8303
  • 07
    This was really surprising to me and now my best friend doesn't want to speak to me and my 2nd friend is seemingly on my best friends side and says I should apologise. I feel so confused. I feel as though I am justified. in wanting to take separate flights. I don't want to dismiss my friends feelings but I'm struggling to understand her reaction.
    via u/ExplanationMajor8303
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    ThePhilV 13h ago. She's manipulating you by weaponizing her emotions, and I would bet that she's done this for your entire relationship. What you said to her was entirely reasonable it's your honeymoon, - of course you want some private time with your new spouse. It's not even about your friend, but
    via u/ThePhilV
  • 09
    she is making it all about her. Just remember that you can't control her responses to your boundaries, but you can control what happens when she crosses them (and how you interact with her while you set those boundaries) You're NTA for what you said, and you said that if you wind up in the same place, she will wind up attaching herself to you and your new spouse for at least a part of the trip based on past experience. This girl sounds, frankly,
    via u/ThePhilV
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    obsessed with you, and it's probably time to have a frank conversation with her about it. I can understand if you want to wait until after the wedding, but I would CERTAINLY rebook things, if not the flight, the entire trip, so that you can avoid her crashing your honeymoon. After that, I would consider cutting her off - this is majorly manipulative. behaviour on her part. I wouldn't in my life. want that
    via u/ThePhilV
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    twel... 13h ago Edited 13h ago . · NTA. Your friend 100000% wants to tag along to your honeymoon. Her comments in jest have a kernel of truth (errr... more than a kernel). This is giving SWF. Does your friend have a crush on you, maybe?
    via u/twelvedayslate
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    In the meantime - if she asks about your plans, lie. Tell her you're going to do X on Tuesday, when you have no intention of doing that. Maybe tell her you guys have decided to only spend half your time in Barcelona and the other half in [Madrid/Seville/Rome/Paris/some other city you have no intentions of visiting].
    via u/twelvedayslate
  • 13
    ThePhilV 13h ago. • Lying isn't it. That's just playing into what she's looking for drama. She would somehow find them when they were supposed to be in France or whatever lie they come up with, and then make a huge scene. OP, you don't want to give this girl any more drama or ammo than she has already grabbed from you. Be truthful, be firm, and if you need to rebook your trip without telling her where you're going, but don't lie. She wants the drama
    via u/ThePhilV
  • 14
    Izzy4162305 · 12h ago • • NTA. Change your flights. Do not tell anyone other than a parent where you're staying, tell them they are not to give that information to anyone, and TELL THEM WHY. As someone above suggested, put an automatic message response on your cell phones. And use this opportunity to start distancing from this person, because she sounds a little unhinged and it will not help your marriage when she tries to crash everything else.
    via u/Izzy4162305
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    • Prestigious-Data1788 13h ago • NTA it's obvious she booked the flight to Barcelona intentionally and there's nothing wrong with distancing yourself from her during this trip, it's your honeymoon after all. totally not blaming you, but your mistake was telling her your plans while knowing how clingy she can be
    via u/Prestigious-Data1788
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    Mayalestrange • 12h ago • NTA. This woman is either into you, into your husband, psychologically unstable, or some combination of the above. Change flights to avoid her, and block her on all channels. If she knows where your accomodations are, change those. Reset any passwords on your emails and any accounts
    via u/Mayalestrange
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    related to travel that you may have used on devices in her home etc. Don't post about where you are in real time on social media. Make sure she's removed from any apps that might track or share your location.
    via u/Mayalestrange
  • 18
    sinisterdarkness666 13h ago. • NTA. Her clinginess is unhealthy and kind of disturbing. This is your honeymoon meant to be shared with your husband so you definitely have the right to stand up for yourself. I know this may be inconvenient but I would go somewhere else and not tell her.
    via u/sinisterdarkness666
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    • kingselenus 12h ago. NTA Hey guess what? If you don't tell her what flight you're on, what hotel you're staying at, what things you plan to do and what time, she can't find you. Even if she begs! Tell her a different time, different location, and when she's upset that you weren't there; "Sorry something came up!" "We saw something interesting, got lost, forgot the time!"
    via u/kingselenus
  • 20
    No_Jaguar67 • 12h ago • NTAH I don't even understand folks. I'd of been like, "Girl we are going to be on our honeymoon. Imma see you when we get back, but not a minute sooner. How about those Chiefs?" And up with the other friend not is getting it? Maybe you've outgrown these two kids.
    via u/No_Jaguar67
  • 21
    ChatKat1957 12h ago . • Don't tell anyone but book flights into an alternative airport and travel to Barcelona, or pick some other dream destination for your honeymoon and visit Barcelona at a later date. People seem to have a need to overshare information- favourite names, etc— and it always seems to bite them in the !
    via u/ChatKat1957

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air travel friendship clinging stalker Barcelona wedding party best friends honeymoon friends girlfriends relationships friend wedding stalkers Travel boundaries clingy vacation
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